I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
