I can tuck mytits in my pants
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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