I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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