11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize