woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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