Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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