Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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