he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
