its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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