In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
