just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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