I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
