porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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