I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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