i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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