then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
