i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
