I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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