no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize