another moral hangover. fuck.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize