Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
