He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize