i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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