Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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