I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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