I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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