I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
