yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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