doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
