So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
