And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm always down for nudity.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
