The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
