I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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