it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize