when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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