Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
