you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
