got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize