They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize