i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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