I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
40s are totally the cure
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
