I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
