Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
