So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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