what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
