i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
