I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
