it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize