it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
