sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
