Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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