You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
