My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
