Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
