just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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