The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
