True but thats because hes a fetus.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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