I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize