She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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