u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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