There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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