STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
