Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize